The Ice Queen
by Sibellla
Summary: Emma Swan doesn't quite understand how Regina Mills, the shyest girl she's ever met, can transform into a passionate skater while on ice. And even more, Emma doesn't understand how she's drawn to someone so unlike her. SQ, Teen, high school AU. No curse.
1. Chapter 1

Emma shivers, shoving her hands deeper into her jacket pockets as she carefully dodges potentially dangerous pockets of ice on the frozen roads. She'll be at the country club in a few minutes, though, and then she'll be working out until she's sweating so it's good that she's cold now, she reminds herself as she looks longingly into the neighborhood, where there are families having dinner. She can see fireplaces blazing, but she knows that there'll be one waiting for her when she goes home later. It's at that exact moment that her phone buzzes and she reluctantly pulls her hand out to answer.

"Hey, mom," she says warmly, having seen the caller ID. "What's up?"

"Hi, sweetie, everything's fine," mom replies in her usual cheerful tone. Though Emma often wonders how it is that her mom manages to stay eternally happy, she often feels better just by talking to her mom. "How was your day?"

"Great. I got a B on the Spanish test I was telling you about last night and I got the dates for soccer team tryouts. I'm just on the way to the country club 'cause I really want to start getting fit since it's so soon."

"Wonderful! Speaking of which, I washed the rest of your sports clothes. It's on your bed, folded right now."

Emma lets out a sigh of relief. Almost all her working out clothes had been dirty by that point and she was on her last sweats. Her mom was awesome.

"You're a saint, thanks so much, mom," Emma says evenly. She knows her mom has a hard job; she's the mayor of Storybrooke. Everyone is always calling out for Mary Margaret to resolve issues, but it's expected. And her dad is the sheriff, but even though he's so busy too, he finds time every week to spend time with her. Emma's so grateful for her parents. She smiles, seeing the country club just up ahead.

"Of course, Emma. Listen, honey, Ingrid called about an hour ago. She's coming up for winter break and she's bringing the girls."

"Seriously?" Emma asks, her eyes lighting up. Already, her good day has turned even better. When she was a baby, she'd gotten kidnapped and ended up in the system, while her parents had looked for her without rest. Emma had a terrible time, until she was ten and Ingrid had been her foster mom, the best one she'd ever had. Around the same time, Mary Margaret and David had found her, and although Emma had ultimately decided to live with them, she (and her parents) was very close to Ingrid and her nieces, Anna and Elsa.

"Yes, it seems that Anna wanted a trip up here for her fifteenth birthday, which is in January. They'll be coming next week," mom replies and Emma can hear the smile in her voice.

"Awesome. That's really cool, mom," Emma says eagerly, finally coming to the steps of the country club. She lets herself in and shivers, signing in at the front desk, while balancing her phone between her head and her shoulder.

"I knew you'd be excited. Anyway, I called to ask if you could please find out some information on ice skating over there at the club. I thought it'd be nice if we could get passes for them, since you know how much all of them, especially Elsa, adore ice skating."

"Oh, yeah, totally," Emma says, recalling. "Yeah, I'll as mom. I just want to work out a bit, then I'll ask."

"Great! Don't come home too late; I'm making pasta for dinner."

"My mouth's already watering. See you, mom!"

She hangs up, putting her phone in her locker, as well as her backpack. She then goes to the gym where she does her usual squats, lunges, and the gets on the treadmill. It's very taxing, but she likes exercising and she's quite proud of her biceps, actually. Victor Whale, the annoying snob of an asshole, had critically told her that guys didn't like muscular girls. Emma had rolled her eyes and reminded him that she didn't even like guys. And it was funny, too, because all of sophomore year he'd been hitting on her. Finally, he got the message.

She does her push ups and pull ups, with her long blonde hair tied back into a messy ponytail. By the time an hour and a half are passed, her muscles are aching and she buys a Gatorade at the vending machine and drinks thirstily, the cold burning her throat. But she doesn't care, since it's relief. Wiping her mouth with her sleeve, she throws out the empty bottle and steps into the locker room, deciding that she'll shower at home since she has to walk, and if she showers now, she'll probably die of hypothermia on her way home.

Emma pulls her coat on and checks her phone, texting Ruby back about hanging out tomorrow, and turns to where she knows the ice rink is. There's one outside and one inside, and Emma never quite figured out why, since as far as she knew, not many people went. Frowning, Emma wiped her sweaty forehead and steps into the indoor one, pausing at the entrance. God, it's just as cold as it is outside. Her teeth start chattering once more and she walks further in, looking around.

She's never quite been to this part of the club, since she's not someone who's particularly fond of the ice. Or more precisely, the cold. But she has to admit, there's something entrancing about the smoothness of the while floor and the dim lighting. It seems almost deserted, except for a sole person, gliding across the ice effortlessly. Emma, interested ,steps closer and watches as a girl with dark hair jumps and does one of those spinny-things that she sees Olympic athletes do on TV, and lands on one foot perfectly.

Emma thinks she would have clapped her she not been carrying her backpack ad her phone. A smile comes to her lips and she sees the girl glide into a graceful stop, then lean against the railing. She seems to be taking a few deep breaths, before she begins skating again, doing another perfect spin-thing which leaves Emma awed. She's about to walk closer when she hears a cool voice.

"May I help you?"

Emma whirls around, eyes wide, her heart hammering in her chest. She sees Cora Mills, who's the owner of the country club. For some reason, she and Mary Margaret don't get along, but it's the one thing her mom won't talk about, denying it. Emma feels self-conscious. Cora has one of the most esteemed reputations, and also everyone is scared of her, Emma included. Uncomfortably, Emma bites her lip.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Interrupt a private practice?"

Cora's eyes are narrowed and cold. Emma purses her lips. Maybe she should just go. She can tal to the secretary at the front desk. Or she can even call tomorrow and inquire. Mom will understand.

"Sorry. I, uh, was just leav-"

"No, dear, it's alright. What did you need?"

God, the woman didn't let anyone finish a sentence. Emma shoulders her backpack and awkwardly thinks of how to word it. She knows that Cora knows who she is, and it's kind of embarrassing.

"My friends from New York are coming," Emma slowly begins, trying to phrase it carefully. "And they're into ice-skating ad stuff, so I was just wondering the hours and stuff."

_Ugh_. She'd said _stuff_ too much and she probably sounds like she's rambling. She looks up to see Cora's lips curling into what looks like a smirk.

"The outdoors rink is open daily from eight to eight. This one, though, is for private lessons."

"Right. Thanks," Emma mumbled, her face slowly turning a shade of red. The sentence was quite pointed towards her. She's just about to leave when she hears someone coming up behind her. She turns and sees the girl who'd been ice-skating, and immediately, something clicks in Emma's head. That girl... she knows she's seen that girl before somewhere.

"Regina? Go practice, dear," Cora says, obvious displeasure on her face. She's frowning and her cold eyes are bored on the girl- Regina's- eyes. Emma narrows her eyes, trying to figure out who the girl is. Where has she seen that braid…? But Cora continues. "I hope Emma here hasn't interrupted you," she adds with a little chuckle, but it's far from playful or genuine. She keeps her eyes on Regina's face, seeing those chocolate eyes widen.

"Oh, no, Mother. Of course she didn't. I just… it's almost eight and I have homework…"

That's when it clicks. Emma's eyes widen as she realizes that this Regina is the Regina in her AP English class, the quiet one who sits in the very back and never says a word, always working by herself when there's a partner assignment. Emma, who is rather well-know among the school, never bothered to talk to her and she suddenly feels embarrassed all over again. Regina gives a very slight, shy smile and Emma awkwardly returns it.

Truth be told, Emma had never even thought about Regina long enough to form an opinion about her, except that she was the quiet, smart girl. Regina looks down quickly, a slight blush feeling her cheeks an Emma frowns. She's _seriously_ shy.

"Half an hour more, darling. Then we'll go."

Regina gives a quick nod and gives Emma another shy, tentative smile before slipping back onto the rink, pushing off with ease. She's wearing white leggings and a snug, pale blue sweater, and Emma wonders how she's not freezing her butt off. She watches for a moment, when Cora clears her throat.

"Well, if that's all. Give my regards to your mother, Emma."

"I will," Emma mumbles, recognizing this as a cue to leave. She turns out, and walks, but her mind is still in the ice rink, with Regina.

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><p><strong>I know there's a lot of high school AUs out there but I couldn't resist! Most questions will be answered in the first few chapters. Please read and review! xx<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the kind reviews! I hope this is up to your standards, and I'll try to make the chapters longer now! Enjoy xx**

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><p>"Emma, honey, can you put these away?"<p>

Emma grins, getting up from the dinner table and stretching. It's Friday night, which means she's in a very good mood and she doesn't have to think about academic stuff until Sunday night or if she's feeling extra lazy, until Monday morning.

"Sure thing, mom."

Mary Margaret is washing dishes and Emma takes off her red jacket and rolls up the sleeves of her white shirt and begins to dry dishes and put them back in the cabinets. Of course, her mom has everything organized by color and size, whereas Emma would personally just opt for paper plates and plastic cups.

"So tomorrow is our annual holiday party. Have you picked out what you're going to wear?"

Emma freezes momentarily, mouthing a cuss word since she knows she'll probably be scolded if she says it out loud. She'd completely forgotten about the party. Every year, her mom hosts a party a week or two before Christmas (since apparently a lot of people leave Storybrooke the actual Christmas week) and they are incredibly _dull_. Maybe they wouldn't be, but the guest list is always full of snobby, "upstanding" citizens that her mom, as the mayor, feels the need to pretend to like.

"Ye- yeah, mom. Totally."

Mary Margaret sighs.

"Do you need your father to take you shopping tomorrow morning for a new dress?"

"Oh, God, no," Emma says quickly. Clothes shopping is always an eventful experience. Emma isn't particularly fond of shopping, but sometimes she does enjoy it, if it's with her mom. But when her mom's busy, Emma goes with dad and _that_ is a terrible experience. She loves her dad, but when they're shopping, he awkwardly tells her she looks nice in everything she tries on and when they pass the bra section, his face turns into a deep red.

No, shopping with dad tomorrow isn't an opinion.

"I have a red dress. I'll wear that."

Mom smirks, knowing full well how Emma feels about it. At that moment, David walks in carrying Baby Neal and kisses Mary Margaret's cheek, then goes to Emma and gives her a half-hug.

"What are my two favorite girls talking about?" he asks playfully, setting the mail down on the counter and putting the mailbox keys back in a drawer, all while balancing Emma's sleeping brother.

"Shopping. Leave now," Emma mouths at him urgently and his eyes widen as he immediately starts for the door.

"I, uh, need to put Neal to bed," he calls, the panic in his voice evident. Mary Margaret rolls her eyes.

"Wimps," she accuses, but she's obviously amused by it. Emma smiles, taking the last dish and putting it away. There's no dishes left, so she shrugs, and then starts for the door, but her mom stops her.

"Emma, wait."

Emma pauses, then turns and returns to the counter, leaning against it. She's cautious now because Mary Margaret is using her I-need-a-favor tone. "What's up?"

Mom seems to be thinking how to word it. She wipes her hands on a towel and then looks up at Emma with a falsely cheerful smile. Emma raises her eyebrows skeptically.

"Well, it seems that Cora wishes to bring her daughter to our party. Since you two will probably be the only non-adults-"

"I'm an adult as of two months ago," Emma interrupts, already not liking where this is going. Mary Margaret rolls her eyes.

"Yes, but not mentally. And you'll always be my little girl. And you're living under this roof."

"Fair point," Emma mumbles. "Continue."

"Well, I thought you could maybe keep her company. She's going to be as bored as you."

Even more of a fair point.

"Who's the- oh! Shit!" Emma begins, but stops as she suddenly remembers who Cora's daughter is. God, she's so stupid sometimes. And now she awkwardly offers her mother a sweet smile after cussing loudly.

"Emma Swan-Nolan, what did we say about such words? Especially now that you have a baby brother?" her mom asks with a frown of annoyance. Emma shrugs guiltily, but justifies herself.

"Don't say them? And Neal's just a baby, he doesn't understand me anyway. Let it go, mom. _Hey_, I'm doing you a favor tomorrow. By the way, why don't you like Cora?"

The distraction works. Mom suddenly turns stiff and she looks sideways guiltily. Once, her mom had dropped her off to sleep at Ruby's house one night with the excuse of her not being able to be home the whole next day as she was going to be judging a science fair with volcanoes. Emma had returned home briefly the following morning to pick up some homework she'd forgotten and found her parents having sex. Her mom has the same sheepish look right now.

"I don't know what you mean," she says as casually as possible. But Mary Margaret is a terrible liar. Emma rolls her eyes.

"Sure. Okay. Well, it's not too late so I'm going to work out."

"Okay. Take your car, Emma, since it's freezing outside. And call if you're going to be late."

"I will," Emma calls, feeling victory at having evaded a scolding. She runs upstairs to her room, grabs her bag with her sports clothes and shoes as well as her keys, and waves to her dad. She steps outside, shivering as she zips up her jacket, and gets in her yellow bug.

To walk is about half an hour, but riding it's like five minutes. She parks and goes inside, texting Ruby.

_Hey I'm at the club. _

_a lesbian one? ;)_

Emma snorts, rolling her eyes. She goes into the locker room and changes. Ruby will be Ruby. They'd planned to hang out earlier, but Ruby had gotten grounded again (big surprise).

_Yes, Rubes. I found a lesbian club and I'm grinding with a really hot girl right now. _

_wtf? why didnt u invite me?_

_You're grounded. And I'm kidding. I'm at the country club. -.-_

_o. not as fun as i thought. ;(_

_Clearly. I was just checking in to make sure you're still alive. _

_sos im dying. granny must hate me. well ive g2g wash some clothes that granny's making me do. ;(_

_Have fun! ;)_

Emma smirks, putting her phone in her locker. She heads over to do her usual routine and she lifts ten extra pounds today. In a moment of smugness, she stands before the mirror and eyes her biceps.

They look good.

But she's interrupted by the door opening. Because Emma usually goes at night, she's always the only one in the gym. Now, she jumps as her face burns, turning, and she feels even more embarrassed when she sees who it is. Regina, whose eyes are wide, and who is also turning red, is standing there.

"I'm- I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were in here..." she begins in a soft voice, with a helpless face as she bites her lip nervously. Today, she's wearing black leggings and a deep blue and white winter sweater, and she has white skates with the little clippy things that go under to cover the blade part. She's kind of cute, in a way that a bunny is cute, and Emma feels at ease, but it's still incredibly awkward that she was admiring her own biceps.

"Hey, it's an open gym. It's cool," she says, giving Regina a welcoming smile. Regina is visibly stiff and uncomfortable, but she gives back a slight smile, then skitters off to the water gallon, pours herself a cup, and heads for the door, moving stiffly and quickly. Emma doesn't even have a chance to tell her that apparently they're going to be hanging out tomorrow, which really sucks, because Regina seems shy enough without the added warning ahead of time. So, Regina's probably going to be really quiet tomorrow and Emma's just going to pray that they can maintain a normal conversation.

Emma slinks back to the weights, sighing. She's Student Body President in Student Council and she was team captain last year in the girls' soccer team (so she's hoping she'll get the honor this year too) and historian of GSA, and as far as she knows, Regina is simply a somewhat nerdy (in the nicest way possible) loner who seems really sweet, but difficult to have a conversation with. They're an odd pair to be spending time together. But then again, Regina might have more of a notable personality once they actually talk. It's hard to believe that Regina is Cora's daughter, since Cora is so… Slytherin and Regina seems _so_ Hufflepuff.

Deciding that she's done for the night, Emma buys her usual Gatorade and drinks it, then changes back into her street clothes and zips her red jacket up. When she looks at her phone, she groans. It seems that Neal Cassidy is trying to ask her out again.

_Hey, Emma. U busy tomorrow? ;)_

_Yeah, my mom's got an event. Sorry._

_Oh, that's right! I'm going too, since my dad's going._

Emma sighs loudly. Her mom hadn't told her. Of course Mr. Gold is going to be there and of course Neal has to tag along. Emma actually prefers hanging out with Regina over him. They'd been good friends, but then he'd kind of started liking her and refused to accept that she was gay, so she'd sort of stayed away from him for a while.

_Oh, I guess I'll see you then. Good night._

_Good night, Em. :)_

Emma rolls her eyes and puts her phone on silent and in her pocket. She's about to leave, when out of curiosity, she heads to the back of the club, where the ice rink is. It's against her better judgment, since there's a chance that Cora will be there, but Emma likes watching ice skaters. She used to watch Elsa for hours, as well as Ingrid, who was also an accomplished skater. She stops, not going in, but standing at the door and looking.

Yes, as predicted, the rink was empty except for Regina. Emma watches as Regina does a grand jete type thing, but on the ice. Her eyes widen. Elsa had been able to do that only after years of practicing, so she's certain that Regina must also have years of experience under her belt.

Now Regina is in a spin, with her braid whipping out as she twirls gracefully, then throws her arms up as she comes to a stop. Emma nods with realization at the fact that Regina was probably performing a routine. Sure enough, Cora appears, shaking her head, and appears to be telling Regina something. Regina's excited face immediately falls and Emma can't explain, but she feels something tug inside her. However, she quickly turns away before Cora can see her.

_Don't feel,_ Emma thinks to herself. It's Regina's business and she really has no say in that matter. But it's sad indeed that Cora didn't seem to be as impressed as Emma was. Maybe she can talk to Regina tomorrow.

She checks her phone to see if Neal's texted her. He hasn't. But Ruby has.

_omg emma! so i drank a tiny bit and kind of texted belle and asked her if she wanted to go out w me tomorrow night and she said yes!_

Emma smiles. She knows Ruby's been pining over Belle for a while now. Once upon a time, Emma had briefly been with Belle, but it hadn't worked. She's glad Ruby is getting a chance, though she has no idea how Ruby's going to plan to be ungrounded. Well, at least Ruby's going to have a nice night tomorrow.

_Cograts! Tell me everything._


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much for all the wonderful feedback! Y'all rock! 3**

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><p>"Oh my God, mom, can't I just say I've developed a deadly virus and I need to stay in bed? Please?"<p>

Mary Margaret turns back with a disappointed frown. "Emma, we already went over this. I really need you to keep Regina company."

"Yeah, yeah," Emma mumbles, sighing quietly. It's useless, but she argues anyway in hopes that maybe if she does it enough, it'll happen. She opens her door just as her mom parks and then carefully gets out, not wanting to do something typical of her and rip her dress or trip ungracefully and land in a pile of frozen mud. She wrinkles her nose, tucking her phone into her bra so she can use both arms for balance.

Really, anyone who can walk on black ice with heels deserves an award.

"Sweetie, please help me with the cooki-"

"Yeah, yeah," Emma repeats darkly, somehow managing to pick up the cookies from her mom. It's going to be catered by The Wicked Spoon, but there's a dessert potluck. With Mary Margaret busy, Emma and her dad had been in charge of the cookies, so they're probably less than satisfactory. But, the way Emma sees it, it's okay because she would like to bet her car that ninety percent of the people in attendance are going to bring cookies anyway.

They walk swiftly to the Town Hall and Mary Margaret opens the door. There's a smell of delicious food and Emma groans, running over to see. There's a bunch of trays with really good food and she wants to eat already, but she knows her mom will throw a fit if she does. There's an hour left until seven, when the thing officially starts, so she'll be suffering for an hour.

With a sigh, she takes off her red jacket and sets it on her chair, the goes to help her mom set the cookies down on the dessert table. Basically, she and her dad had decided to cover up the fact that the cookies were not circular by dumping a ton of frosting on each, but thankfully her mom doesn't start whining about it. Emma steals one, sampling it and deciding that they're not bad, they just don't even remotely look like cookies.

She sits back down, sighing. She's wearing the red dress she'd said she'd wear and it's nice and warm since it's floor length, but it's somewhat itchy. And her hair is in a neat bun which her mom helped her with. Really, she could almost think she looks somewhat nice, if not overly done-up and completely unlike herself. Impatiently, she taps her foot (though foot-tapping is harder with heels) and waits for it to be seven already so she can at least watch boring, snobby old people brag about who has the most money.

Emma ends up playing Candy Crush and gets pissed off because she can't beat a damn level. Her mom has to take her phone away from her and tell her that it's just about seven, so she stands up, smooths her dress, and watches her mom open the doors.

Of course, it's a bunch of old people. She sees Mr. Spencer, the district attorney, and Mr. Herman, who she's not quite sure _what_ he does, but he's been kind of pissed off since Sean chose to stay with Ashley. Emma smiles fondly at the memory; she'd helped Ashley through her pregnancy and now she and Sean are going to getting married. So yeah, Mr. Herman doesn't really like Emma either, but she doesn't care.

Thankfully, Mr. Gold and Neal are nowhere in sight. However, it's at that moment when Cora walks in through the doors and Regina follows close behind and Emma has to stop herself from just gaping.

Oh wow.

Regina's in a pale blue ballgown that compliments her olive skin very nicely and though she looks like a princess from a storybook, the fact that the dress shows all of Regina's shoulders and the only straps are some transparent ones that fall on her arms does nothing for Emma's sudden nerves. Her stomach twists and she finds her eyes lingering too much on the exposed. She can see the smoothness of Regina's skin and she wonders what it feels like to touch. She _wants_ to touch. In that moment, she wants nothing more than to_ touch_ and _stroke_ and-

"Fuck," Emma mumbles, feeling her cheeks burning. She turns around and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. And another.

She knows she shouldn't be having thoughts like that. God, she feels really guilty now, and ashamed, even, for having thoughts like that. But she's a sexually frustrated eighteen year old who's hasn't had any sex in the past two months and she's just having wild fantasies now. Regina's not even showing that much skin, literally only her shoulders and arms, and already Emma is going crazy. She groans, rubbing her temples, and looking up.

Mary Margaret is greeting Cora very stiffly. Her mom is smiling too cheerfully, so Emma knows it's all faked. But they're being very civil on the top. Cora then pushes Regina forward and Regina looks so shy, but she gives an awkward curtsy and a small, faked smile. Mary Margaret smiles back in a kinder manner than she had with Cora and quietly seems to be telling Regina something, and points towards Emma. Emma stiffens, but she knows her mom's telling Regina to come hang out with her. Regina looks hesitant, but nods. Cora seems to encourage her and pushes her again, this time towards Emma. Regina stumbles slightly, but then walks slowly towards Emma, eyes wide and visibly trembling.

All of Emma's steamy thoughts evaporate and she feels even worse for having had such thoughts. She sees how scared and uncomfortable in the dress Regina seems to be, and once again, she reminds Emma of a cute bunny, but this time, it's a _scared_ cute bunny. After what seems like an eternity, Regina finally arrives at Emma's side.

"Hi," Emma says as warmly as possible and gives Regina one of her rare, genuine smiles not laced with sarcasm.

"Hello," Regina says quietly, giving back a slight smile. Her hair is down and pulled back from both sides. It suddenly occurs to Emma that she's never seen Regina with her hair down. She only ever wears it in a braid to school. It's very appealing when it's down, though, and when she moves, Emma can smell apples.

"So I guess we're stuck here for the night. Ready to get drunk?" Emma jokes, trying to get Regina to lighten up. But it doesn't work. At all. In fact, it kind of backfires and Regina stiffens, swallowing nervously.

"Oh, uh, I, uh-"

"I was just kidding," Emma says quickly, feeling the awkwardness in the air. She's going about this entirely the wrong way. But she can't explain why she feels so strangely about Regina. Usually, Emma can read people very well and even sees when they're lying, but now, she's at a complete loss. A few days ago, she'd barely even known Regina existed, and now, she finds the girl fascinating, if she has to admit it to herself, because there's an air of mystery surrounding her and she's so humble and yet so regal at the same time. Her presence is like that of a queen, and Emma has never seen anyone who can be so sweet and so powerful at the same time.

And, Regina's really pretty. Gorgeous, even.

"Oh," Regina whispers, blinking. "Right."

And they fall into an awkward silence again.

Emma holds her breath and looks away. This is already looking to be harder than she'd expected. In the distance, she sees David enter and immediately go to Mary Margaret and kiss her cheek. They exchange a few words and then they both look over at Emma. Emma sends an S.O.S. message with her eyes desperately, but both of her parents just seem suddenly very interested with a certain dish on the buffet line.

Emma wants to evaporate.

"I'm sorry."

The silence is broken by Regina. Emma slowly turns to look at her and she sees Regina anxiously looking up at her.

"I know you're doing this because your mother told you to and that's very kind of you. But I know I'm just difficult to talk to and I… well, I don't really know what I'm doing," Regina says softly, chuckling nervously and wringing her hands. "You're so well-known and I'm just a… a nerd. And you don't have to deny it," she rushes to say, since Emma's eyes widen. "I know it's true. But thank you for doing this."

"Oh, geez, um, no one's ever told me anything like that," Emma says, smiling from the flattery and feeling pleasantly pleased. "But I- okay, to be honest, my mom _did _tell me to hang out with you. But I want to. You seem like a really cool person. _And_ you're amazing at ice skating, I never knew you could do all of that."

Regina flushes, and to Emma's delight, there's a hint of a real smile. Maybe it's not so difficult to talk to a self-proclaimed nerd, since there's a sort of effortless ease when it comes to being with Regina. True, it's incredibly awkward, but Regina's not like some of the "friends" Emma has who simply believe they're better than everyone.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me," Regina replies in her gentle tone, her eyes lighting up with a genuine happiness. "Though, I should be congratulating you with your talents on the soccer field."

"Oh, you know I was on the soccer team?" Emma asks, surprised, tilting her head slightly.

"Did I _know_? Who didn't? Everyone knows you, you're legendary at school."

"Oh," Emma says, once again flattered. A guy had once said something very similar to her, but it was obvious he just wanted to bed her. With Regina, the comment seems truthful and Emma wonders if there's really people who see her in such a light. She sees herself as an, although socially skilled, slacker who likes to sleep too much and procrastinates on literally everything, and spends entire days just watching Netflix in bed and eating bearclaws."Well, that's nice of you to say."

They lapse into another silence, though this one is comfortable. The table on the corner, where Emma had been sitting and where her red jacket was, seems unoccupied, so Emma wonders if maybe they should get food and sit down. All the adults seem to be settled down and the buffet line is much shorter.

"Do you want to go get food?" Emma asks, turning to look back at Regina. "I mean, I'm starving, and I don't know about you, but The Wicked Spoon seems really good."

Emma doesn't miss a slight smile that comes to Regina's lips as she hesitantly nods and Emma decides to lead the way, pushing through the cluttered aisles in annoyance, knocking down a couple of purses in the progress and not caring. Regina, on the other hand, apologizes to every table as they pass, scurrying to keep up with Emma. They get a plate each and Emma just starts loading everything onto her plate because the last time she ate was at breakfast, and all she ate was Froot Loops. Regina delicately serves some salad and Emma just stares at the plate.

"There's literally like a million choices of other food, are you sure you don't want something besides up that?" she asks doubtfully. She'd always been the kid who refused to eat veggies and kind of ended just surviving on junk food. She probably would have had a heart attack by now did she not work out so much.

But Regina just shrugs, looking uncomfortable. "Not really," she says softly.

"Uh, okay," Emma says, eyeing her own plate and feeling like a pig now. But that doesn't stop her from going over to the dessert section and loading up yet another plate with cakes and the predictable ton of cookies while Regina just watches.

"What did you guys bring?" Emma asks, trying to make it less awkward. Regina points at a tray with turnovers.

"Oh, they look good," Emma mumbles, though she's not a fan of turnovers and leaves them untouched. She then balances the two heaping trays and begins walking back, making it to the table without too much of an incident. Regina sits down and while Emma shoves the food into her mouth, she just stares at her salad. Emma makes a mental note to tell her mom to take her to wherever The Wicked Spoon is and buy her food from there later on.

"So do you really think I'm a good ice skater?" Regina asks suddenly, and though her voice still carries the gentle, quiet tone, it seems almost hopeful and more confident now. Emma swallows ungracefully, coughs a bit, then nods.

"Oh, yeah. I can't do it to save my life, but when I was younger and I… well, I was a foster child…" she pauses to look at Regina's reaction, but Regina just nods. Yeah, probably the entire town knows Emma's story. She fights the urge to roll her eyes, but continues. "One of my foster sisters took ice skating lessons. And she was really good. She still is. Her name's Elsa and she's actually coming up next week. I think you two would be really good friends. She's kind of shy, too. Actually, she used to have severe anxiety but her younger sister, my other foster sister, Anna, and I really helped her with it. Now that I think about it, she reminds me a lot of you."

"Oh, well, I do hope I'm able to meet her," Regina replies and she does look interested, so Emma makes another mental note to introduce Elsa to Regina.

"Yeah. Ingrid, my foster mom and their aunt, is actually a really good ice skater too. When she was in college, her nickname was the Snow Queen."

"That's really nice. Mine- at least within the ice skating community I know- is the Evil Queen," Regina says in a somewhat defeated tone. Emma is just confused. Regina? Evil? She can see the queen part, but the evil is just strange.

"Why?" she asks, interested.

"Because I suppose I have a bit of an obsessive personality at times," Regina says slowly, as if she's trying to figure it out herself. "But I don't think that makes me evil. It's also because I love apples, though. And I- well, occasionally I do take first place and anger many, hence the nickname, I suppose."

She says the last bit with a hint of pride and Emma nods appreciatively, even more entranced. She's going to tell Regina something when her mom gets a microphone and begins talking, thanking everyone for being here tonight and wishing them all a happy holidays. It escalates into a huge story about how great Storybrooke is and Emma just groans. She's only able to sit through about half an hour at it, before leaning in to Regina.

"Do you want to go outside?" she whispers. Regina looks just as bored as her and nods, smiling slightly. They both stand and exit as quietly as possible. Emma just groans, taking off her heels and walking barefoot to the stairs and flopping down. Regina awkwardly follows suit and sits on the stairs very stiffly.

"My mom's probably going to talk for ages," Emma complains. "She just loves to talk and talk and talk some more. And when she's done? Guess what she does? Remembers something she forgot to say and talks even more!"

Regina giggles and it's a delightful sound. She's smiling with her teeth now and though she's still a bit too stiff for Emma's liking, the door opens and with it comes a gust of wind, blowing Regina's dark hair back and revealing her shoulders once more. Emma's eyes drop automatically and she's extremely close right now. She can see the smooth, unmarked skin, which she just wants to touch so badly. But the guilt crashes over her and she immediately looks away, shocked by the sting in her eyes.

She's often had thoughts like those, though never before today about Regina, and she can't stop them and every time she sees a pretty girl they come and she just feels _so bad_ for having thoughts like those, since it's absolutely none of her business to be having any ridiculous fantasies. She'll never act upon them, of course, but the very fact that she pictures it disgusts her and she feels sick with herself. But it momentarily subsides and the stinging stops as she sees who walks in.

Fuck. Neal.

"Hey, Emma," he says, lighting up as he sees her. He walks over to the stares, smiling down at her. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Emma says tiredly, not wanting to deal with it. How many times does she have to politely remind him that she's gay?

"I'm very glad. Who's your friend?" he asks, nicely on the surface though he seems a bit suspicious. Emma rolls her eyes.

"Regina, meet Neal, Neal, meet Regina."

"I know who you are. It's a pleasure to meet you," Regina replies politely, immediately standing up ad giving a slight curtsy. It's so 1800s-princess behavior. Emma realizes she has to stand up too or else it'll be really awkward, so she does so.

"You know who I am? Well, how come I don't know who you are?" Neal replies, his tone still friendly, though he's even more visibly suspicious now. Regina's brief confidence seems to fade as she deflates uncomfortably and bites her lip.

"Well, not a lot of people know me. But you're in track, right?"

"Yeah," Neal says, his left eyebrow raising. "Well, you seem pretty well-versed for someone who's not in the inner circle. No offence. Anyway… Emma, so how about I take you out next week? Next Friday?"

"Uh, I'm busy," Emma says slowly, trying to figure out if he'd just insulted Regina or not. Regina doesn't look hurt, just embarrassed, so Emma decides to let it go.

"Aww, you're always busy."

"Yeah. So maybe just give up?"

"Eh," is Neal's only reply. He shrugs and begins walking into the meeting room where the party is. Emma just sighs. Well, at least that'd taken her mind off of things. Maybe one day she just needs to wear a rainbow morphsuit and put GAY on the front in sparkles and wave a rainbow flag. She scoffs; it's ridiculous how much some people need to just accept that she _doesn't like guys_.

"Are you okay?" Regina asks gently, setting her hand on Emma's affectionately. Emma jumps, not because of the action, but because it sends a jolt down her system. Although Regina's hand is cool to the touch, it's very smooth, just as Emma had predicted. She feels her stomach knotting again as the thoughts return. She's furious with herself and the stinging returns to her eyes.

How _dare_ she have thoughts like that? She feels as if she has zero self-control and she really needs to do something about it. She quickly pulls away from Regina, not meeting her eyes.

"Yeah. Of course. Let's go back in."

"Emma?"

But Emma ignores it because she can't bear to look at Regina and she feels bad every time she does so. She heads back inside and she can hear Regina's frantic footsteps to keep up, but Emma never replies.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks so much to everyone! Y'all are so awesome! Question: would you like a chapter from Regina's POV? Thanks so much! xx**

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><p>"Wait, so... you abandoned a hot girl at a party because you were so horny you couldn't handle it?"<p>

Emma groans, pushing Ruby jokingly, but she's legitimately annoyed. She's been over it, _what_, seven times? And each time, dear old Rubes takes it and spins the story into a wonderfully fictionalized version of Saturday night's events. And when she has the nerve to ask Emma why she's mad, Emma doesn't even know what to say.

"I told you that it's _not true_. Here we go, for the eighth time. Regina and I were hanging out and I had some inappropriate thoughts. I felt guilty, so I kind of just went back into the party and got a little distant, which I think made her feel bad. So I want to apologize, but she's just- she's nothing like me. I don't even know if I should try to be her friend."

"Yeah, okay," Ruby interrupts, ignoring the latter part of her explanation and jumping back, "but I still fail to see how my version's any different from yours. What you _essentially_ did was abandon a hot girl at a party because you were horny."

"No!" Emma argues, exasperated. She doesn't even know why it's hitting a nerve. "Maybe to you it sounds the same, but take it closely. First, I did not abandon her. I got quieter, but I did not just leave her and go off. Second, it wasn't even a party. It was a boring dinner my mom had with a shit ton of old people. And third, I was not horny, I was- well, I _was_…"

"Yeah, you _were_," Ruby says seriously, taking Emma's hands and forcing her to look into her eyes. They're wide and so serious, unlike Emma has ever seen them. "But that's okay. And I notice you didn't argue that she's hot. It's because she is, right? You like her."

"No," Emma repeats, her teeth now gritted together. "She's pretty, but she's awkward. Really awkward and stiff. And shy. I'm telling you, we're nothing alike which is why I don't even think I should bother getting to know her."

It's towards the end of break and it's a dreary Monday, the one before winter break which is why everyone's procrastinating. Not to mention Emma's got a terrible case of senioritis (but, let's be real, she's had senioritis ever since she was a freshman) and she wants nothing more than to just start break early and condition herself more for soccer. There's also the winter assembly that Friday, which, as head of Student Council, she's in charge of.

Sometimes, she wonders why the hell she was elected and why the hell she took the position.

But nonetheless, it's her job, and when she has to do it, she does. And then she gets a two-week break and she gets to see Anna, Elsa, and Ingrid. She's counting down the days till Saturday.

"You know what? Belle's shy too, but she's an absolute sweetheart. And how do I know that? Oh, yeah, because I don't run away from her and I actually enjoyed the date on Saturday. Maybe if you just chillaxed, you'd find love. Besides, she could do so much worse than you."

"_Thank you_," Emma says, trying to keep her face as straight as possible. "I'm so glad that she could do worse than me."

"Shut up, you know what I mean," Ruby whines. It's good that the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, so that Emma doesn't have to try to pretend to understand Ruby, which she's not sure she'll ever fully comprehend anyway. She hops up, shoulders her black leather backpack and pulls her hair free. She's wearing skinny jeans with dark brown boots and this time (_plot twist_) she's wearing a _blue_ leather jacket. It's nice, but she just prefers red.

"See you, Emma!"

"Bye, Ruby," Emma calls, waving as she begins heading towards class. They'd been in an empty classroom since their topic of discussion had not been something for her usual crowd to hear (who all sit under the large tree on the picnic table). Her AP English class is all the way at the other side of the school so she barely makes it in time, collapsing into her seat. She can't help but scan the room, as usual, and sees Belle over near the back with a slight smile as she seems to read a text. Probably Ruby. Emma rolls her eyes, but secretly, she thinks it's sweet. There's an odd pang in her chest and she uncomfortably ignores it, opting to begin her warm ups before Mr. Booth throws a fit.

English is Emma's only AP class (and it's terrible) although she _is_ taking Government Honors. She doesn't even remember why she chose them. Something about her previous teachers forcing her to. Nonetheless, she endures the first half hour of the class by having Mr. Booth blabbing about the importance of strong themes. She's daydreaming about the soccer field when Mr. Booth calls on her.

"Oh, uh, what?"

"Nice of you to join us, Emma. What was I just talking about?"

"Uh… fairytales."

She doesn't even know where it comes from and she certainly doesn't expect to be right, but then Mr. Booth raises an eyebrow and nods, affirming, though he's slightly suspicious. Emma sits up, eyes widening, and she mouths "score!" to herself. Several people laugh and Mr. Booth whips around, but Emma's prepared and she's sitting innocently, eyes wide.

So, yeah, she kind of sits in the front because she has a bit of trouble staying awake. Mr. Booth had just moved her right in front of his desk one day after she'd fallen asleep for the seventeenth time. Hey, if it'll keep her awake, then it'll keep her awake.

"As I was saying before Emma started daydreaming about God knows what, your next assignment will be a project that'll be due after break. It's simple: I want you all to create your own fairy tale. It should be no less than ten pages long, MLA, and though originality of the piece and quality of the writing will be taken into account, the heaviest weight factor will be the themes incorporated. This _is_ a partner assignment-"

Emma immediately whips her head to make eye contact with Killian, who smirks, but nods. He's one of her close buds and usually her partner, though she occasionally also partners with Belle.

"… _but_ I've already assigned you all partners."

The class groans in unison ad Emma unintentionally says a very audible cuss word.

"Just for Miss Swan, the essay can be twenty pages. Any more complaints and the whole class will have the same," Mr. Booth continues, smirking. Emma sticks her tongue out at him. He loves to torture her, and yet, he's really chill at the same time. She's fallen asleep, been caught texting, and cussed out loud more times than she can count, but he's never sent her to the dean's, just given her an insane amount of homework and confiscated her phone. Emma will take it.

"Anyway, I suggest you guys meet up a couple of times during break to work on it. Don't be like Emma and do it the night before or even the morning of."

Emma shrugs; it's absolutely true.

"Now, the partners are as follows, and I've combined you all for some reason. It's because of grades or similar writing styles. Or, for some of you, I frankly am just interested to see what comes of you working together. Let's see… since Caitlin is leaving us over break, we'll have an even number, which means everyone is going to have a partner. Please sit with your partner after I assign you all and use the remainder of the period to plan out. Peter and Tink. Mulan and Marian. Belle and Kathryn. Robin and Killian…"

Emma wait patiently, but her hopes fall as she slowly hears all of her friends being paired off with each other. Her face falls completely as she hears Aurora and Frederick paired up. Looking around, she realizes that just about everyone's been named. Mr. Booth looks down at the bottom of the list and looks amused. Emma waits, not amused, and looks at him with a skeptical face.

"And my most interesting pairing. Emma and Regina."

Emma's stomach drops. _Seriously?_ She's _that_ unlucky? She doesn't even get how that could have happened and she just feels really bad after having basically ignored Regina the rest of that night. She sneezes, wipes her nose with her sleeve, and looks at Mr. Booth pleadingly.

"Come and sit next to Emma, Regina. I do hope some of your work ethics and intelligence will rub off on her. And maybe she can get some of your quietness and close her big mouth for once."

"Hey!" Emma protests. Mr. Booth just gives a chuckle.

"Only kidding."

Emma scowls, but takes a deep breath. It's just a project, right? She reluctantly pushes her desk next to another, and tenses as she sees Regina slowly moving from the back of the room to sit next to her. Her eyes are wide and uncomfortable and she looks just as scared as always. Now Regina wears light jeans and a cream colored button up shirt with brown combat boots and her hair is in its usual braid. She carefully sits down and Emma gets the whiff of apples again.

Though she's always been more of an orange person, apples are starting to grow on her.

"Hey," Emma says as soon as Regina's settled and gives her a warm smile. She may be terrified but she won't show it. "So we meet again."

"So we do," Regina says quietly. She's smiling, but she still looks uncomfortable. Though for all Emma knows, Regina's always uncomfortable. Those brown eyes are clearly flecked with fear, but there's almost a yearning underneath and Emma just doesn't know what it's for. Regina seems too sweet to yearn for anything.

"I just- wanted to apologize for Saturday night. I was kind of upset because of Neal."

That's partially true, but not really. Still, Regina seems to buy it. The tension eases because Regina suddenly looks very relieved, her eyes widening in realization.

"_Oh_. I thought it was something I- never mind. Of course it's okay, things happen and I completely understand."

Emma smiles and Regina smiles back. It's honest. It's true. But it's still lacking. And Emma can't quite put her finger on it, though she decides not to.

"Let's think about this project later. We have the rest of this week and break. I hope I'll be seeing you around, though? Like, at the club and stuff?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Regina answers, looking excited at the prospect. Emma's not sure how to interpret that, because on one hand, Regina has a tendency to act too excited at the prospect of making friends and all Emma can do is wonder if the poor girl really is so lonely that she actually gets excited over projects. But on the other hand, Regina, from what Emma knows, is extremely kind and always trying to make people feel good.

She's such a mystery.

"Maybe we can talk over the weekend?" Regina presses sweetly. It's so hard to look into such a gentle and innocent face with wide eyes. Regina is _exactly_ a cute bunny, so Emma has no idea why she'd been so… flustered the other night. Like she'd previously concluded, Regina is a mystery.

"Uh, yeah. Just, my friends are coming this weekend, But I still remember I told you I'd introduce you to Elsa and we can totally meet up sometime. Besides, I'll see you at the club, right?"

"Without fail," Regina whispers, one of those genuine, wide smiles coming to her face. Emma almost feels guilty as the bell rings and Regina's face falters slightly.

"Cool. I'll, uh, see you, then."

She gives Regina one last smile before turning and filing out of the classroom with everyone else.

It's not until that night, when she's at the club, that she suddenly realizes what is missing from Regina.

Emma yearns for the cold Regina on ice, confident and beautiful. Normal Regina is sweet and cute, but there's no passion there. Emma likes the passion. She likes the girl who owns the ice rink. She likes the confidence, although humble, radiating out, and she likes to see Regina whipping around the rink with a smirk.

She likes the Ice Queen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the feedback! I'll be doing a Regina chapter. Please let me know what you think and, per request, this chapter is indeed longer. Thanks again! xx**

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><p><em>Tuesday<em>

It's a typical rigorous school day, but Regina attends with a concealed smile. As usual, she arrives early and stops at her locker to leave her backpack and coat, and in turn, grabs a dark red binder with her notes for all the day's classes. She then hurriedly makes her way outside and sits down on an empty bench that's far off in a corner, with no one in sight. It's chilly and she shivers, having left her coat, but not minding. She's dressed extra nicely today in hopes that Emma will see her and talk to her.

She clutches her binder to her chest and slowly inches left on the bench, hoping for a clear view of the big tree, and more importantly, the table under it filled with the school's elite. She can see Killian Jones, who, from what she knows, is somewhat of a liar. And then there's Robin Locksley, the one who makes her stomach fill with butterflies, which is why she avoids him at all costs. There's Ruby, who seems to be Emma's best friend, texting someone and pushing dress code, as usual. And there's Neal and Marian and off to the side is Victor, who from what Regina's seen, isn't actually a part of the elite but stands near them to give off appearances. She continues eyeing the group and waits patiently, her heart skipping a beat when she sees the unmistakable red leather jacket in the distance moving towards the table. Mostly everyone greets Emma with a hug and the blonde takes a spot nestled in between Ruby and Marian.

How Regina wishes that she could join them.

She feels the sadness beginning to gnaw at her insides and at that moment, she wants nothing more than to sit with the group and laugh with them and hang out with them after school and at parties. The she remembers that she also really doesn't like socializing or parties, and wonders about what a contradicting mess she is. No wonder she's where she's at, more invisible than the plainest loner. She doubts five people in the entire school know her name. It's not like she's bullied or anything, and sometimes, she doesn't even know why she's unhappy. But maybe some attention, even if it's negative, wouldn't harm her.

Last night, she'd drafted a couple of ideas for their fairytale, and she wants to show them to Emma (that, and she wants a chance to talk to Emma again), but she doesn't want to seem clingy. Emma had said they'd talk next class, right? So she resigns herself to wait until tomorrow, which is their next class because of the block schedule.

_Wednesday_

Emma's not at school.

Regina had woken up at four just to look nicer that morning. She'd, for the first time in her entire high school career, brushed and carefully curled her hair and worn more than foundation and mascara. She'd worn her deep red lipstick and put on a daring amount of eyeliner before heading off to the ice rink to practice a little, as she always did, before school. She'd then checked her reflection and headed to school with dark skinny jeans and a red sweater with a cream scarf and her nice combat boots with boot socks. She'd then made sure to purposefully arrive later than usual, when she knew that Emma would most certainly be at the table, but to her dismay, Emma had not been there, nor had anyone so much as glanced at her.

In fact, it's been the whole day and no one's even looked at her once. In English, Mr. Booth tells them to meet with their partners to plan their story and Regina remains in the back of the room stiffly, not quite sure of what to do. Mr. Booth sees her and carefully makes his way over to her and sits down in the empty desk next to her. Regina is suddenly extremely uncomfortable and crosses her arms over her chest and bends over slightly, avoiding his gaze.

"Regina? Is something troubling you?"

"No," Regina replies quietly, looking at her desk intensely.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

There is a very long awkward pause. She knows she's impossible to have a conversation with and she knows she has zero interaction skills. She regrets having even bothered to try to look pretty and maybe she should've just stayed home, like Emma.

"Well, if you're sure. I'm always here if you want to talk and I'm sure the counselors are always happy to talk."

Regina feels a bit of the darkness inside her rising, the darkness she tries so hard to conceal and keep at bay. The few people that actually do notice her probably mark her off as sweet, kind, and innocent and she tries so hard to live up to that, but in reality, she's pretty sure that she could be a potential murderer.

It's really disturbing. She's been kind of psycho ever since Daniel's death ten months ago and there's a part of her that fears she's literally going crazy, but she doesn't want to talk to anyone about it. She just needs to push down the darkness and keep on going as a good person. Maybe those aren't the values her mother has taught her, but she's taught herself that being a good person is important and that's what she wants to be.

In the heat of the moment, though, the darkness rises and she turns and faces Mr. Booth coldly, her gaze bitter. She catches his surprise and he even looks slightly uncomfortable.

"_No_, thank you," Regina says coldly, her jaw clenched. But the way Mr. Booth uneasily stands up sends her mind back into function and she immediately feels terrible for having used that tone. Her cold face breaks and her eyebrows rise in panic as she quickly shakes her head.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to sound so reserved. Please forgive me, it's been a strange day and I'm afraid I don't know what came over me."

Mr. Booth immediately nods, looking like his usual sarcastic self that teases students. But the difference is that, for some reason, no teachers ever joke around Regina. In fact, all of her teachers seem to like her and they're all unnecessarily kind to her. They probably pity her.

"It's quite alright, Regina. Just work on what you can and maybe Emma will be here next class."

Regina smiles sweetly and nods. She hopes so.

_Thursday_

Emma's still not there.

It's worrying Regina. It's not as if they're even friends, but for some reason, she's almost dared to think of Emma as something more than a girl who talked to her that one time. Again, Regina had dressed nicely in the occasion that she should run into Emma, but no luck. At lunch, Regina sits sadly in her usual deserted bench, shivering. Her mother had questioned her last night and asked her if she was dressing nicely for a boy (_"You know you're not allowed to date, Regina, and I'd better not find you're disobeying me!"_), but after Regina had sworn that it wasn't it, her mother had slowly told her that she looked nice and that she was glad she was finally getting a sense of style and learning to dress like a lady.

But more importantly, Emma hasn't been to school in three days and Regina's worried. She doesn't know what happened but she has no means of contacting Emma to find out.

That night, when she's spinning on the ice, she suddenly stops and comes to the realization that if she doesn't see Emma tomorrow at school, she'll have to find some other way to talk to her for the project, which is due right after break. She blinks, carefully gliding over to the railing so she can stop to catch her breath.

But she can't.

"Again, Regina!"

She takes a deep breath, urgently pressing down the darkness threatening to come out. The cold temperature and the distraction of the massive rink, only for her, helps her contain it. She skates rapidly to the center in a rush of emotion, beginning the routine again.

_Friday_

Regina has to act.

Emma is still not there. And if they have no way of contacting each other, they can't do the project. Regina spends all of the first half of the day planning what she's about to do. When lunchtime rolls around, she's trembling from the prospect of actually talking to someone. She stands in her usual corner, her stomach flipping violently and her hands shaking. She has no idea what is wrong with her. Maybe she has some sort of anxiety, because she's pretty sure that simply talking to a person should not have her melting from fear. Her stomach turns again ad she suddenly feels very ill, and puts her hand over her mouth, walking swiftly to the bathroom.

There are a few other girls in there, but most are at the other bathroom, near the big tree. Regina locks herself into a stall and bends over the toilet, her eyes watering as she coughs and spits. But she's had nothing to eat since… yesterday? The day before that? She can't remember. But she doesn't actually throw up, just spits awkwardly since there's nothing for her to really throw up.

Her stomach refuses to settle and her palms are in a cold sweat. She flushes the toilet and leaves the stall, keeping her head down. She can feel the girls glancing at her, but they quickly turn away. Regina washes her hands and quickly leaves, her legs shaking now.

She seriously has a problem if she's close to fainting over talking to someone.

Regina shakes her head at herself. She'd once read a surprisingly inspirational quote on tumblr, something about how even though you're trash, you still can, that's why it's called a trash can and not a trash can't. She repeats it to herself in her head over and over, realizing that there's only five minutes of lunch left and she'd better do something or she'll get nowhere.

Regina forces herself to go over near the big tree. Already, she can feel the glances of the people who sit in the tables near the big tree, the semi-popular people.

_You don't need to look at me, I know I belong far away, in a corner_, Regina thinks as her heart beats wildly and she's starting to hyperventilate slowly. If she faints, she is going to change her name and beg her mother to be homeschooled. With a whimper, she forces herself to approach the table.

Ruby is smack in the middle, nestled between Robin and, surprisingly, Belle. Belle is fairly quiet and a bit shy and soft-spoken, but she's so kind that everyone likes her. Regina wonders why she can't be like Belle. But then she remembers that Belle, although shy, has no problem being surrounded by people. And she, Regina, is having a sort of panic attack over approaching one person.

Belle catches her eye and Regina freezes, her eyes widening in panic. She wants to turn back I time. What had made her make this stupid decision of approaching this table? She doesn't even know. Belle smiles gently at her and although Regina's instinct is to smile back, she can't get her face to work. And it turns even worse when Robin looks at her.

She'd been pale in the bathroom, but now, Regina is certain her face is red. Her stomach starts twisting again as she looks into Robin's eyes. He looks at her and then slowly smiles back at her. Regina doesn't know what to do. She's never been in a situation like this. Her legs are shaking so much and she's trying to control her breathing. Then Ruby looks at her and Regina involuntarily lets out a tiny whimper, taking a step back.

All of the popular kids are being so nice, something Regina wasn't expecting. Yes, she's studied them enough to see that most of them are good people, but she didn't know how they would react to someone not sharing their status. Ruby smiles too, though, and it's genuine, though she looks a little confused.

"Cou- could I t- talk to y- you, please?" Regina whispers, stammering. She's surprised when Ruby, though confused, nods immediately and stands up, leaving the tight circle and stepping over to the side with Regina.

"Hello," Regina whispers, feeling faint again. To her horror, she actually sways slightly and Ruby has to steady her. Ruby's hands are warm ad her grip is strong and Regina sees wide eyes looking into her face.

"Hey, are you okay? You look really sick. Do you need to sit down?"

"N- no, I'm sorry. I'm fine," Regina says softly, mortified. This is going all wrong. She is a Regina, programmed to sit in a corner and definitely _not _talk to people. And Ruby is a Ruby, one of the prettiest and most popular girls in the school. Reginas are not meant to talk to Rubys. Or to Emmas, for that matter.

"I, uh, I wanted to ask- since I know y- you and Emma are friends- if you had her n- number because… she's my partner in English and I need to do a project with her."

Ruby looks a little surprised, but she recovers quickly, her eyebrows rising.

"Oh! Uh, yeah, of course. Sorry, uh, what's your name?"

"Regina."

Ruby's eyes widen and her mouth opens into a perfect 'o'. She now looks analytic, but still nice, though she's clearly eyeing Regina's outfit (she'd tried to dress nicely again) and just inspecting her.

"Ohmigod! _You're_ Regina! I'm so sorry, I'm an airhead when it comes to knowing people. Weren't you and I in a class together once?"

Regina nods immediately; she remembers everything, though no one remembers her. "Health, seventh period, freshman year. You sat two seats in front of me."

Ruby looks a little alarmed and uneasy and Regina wants to smack herself. She sounds like a stalker. Okay, maybe she _is_ a stalker. But she's not really. She just remembers people. Her hands are in her jean pockets to not visibly tremble in front of Ruby.

"Oh, damn. Cool. Uh, yeah, she talks about you a lot. Anyway, here's her number…"

Ruby jots it down on a scrap of paper. But Regina is frozen.

Emma has talked about her.

Emma has talked about her a lot.

Maybe Emma considers her a _friend_.

_Emma Swan might be her friend_.

Regina nearly faints on the spot again, but manages to hold it together just as the bell rings. She takes the scrap of paper. Ruby glances over at the table.

"Yeah. Anyway, it was nice meeting you, Regina! Just warning you, Emma has a cold so she's probably cranky right now if you try to talk to her. See you!"

Regina stands blankly, unseeing. She barely manages a slight smile at Ruby before everyone begins heading to class. She looks down. The number is in her hand. She makes her way over to her corner where her binder is and she grabs it, slowly going off to class.

Once she gets there. She collapses into her back seat, putting her head on the desk. She did it. She's got Emma's number.

The only problem is that she nearly fainted in the process. Maybe she should see someone about that. It's not normal to have that much anxiety, is it? It's just weird, because she's done ice skating competitions and sure, she's thrown up from nerves then too, but she's never been quite this nervous.

She's probably just an extremely unsociable piece of trash.

And extremely unsociable pieces of trash should not be friends with popular girls. Especially not with someone like Emma Swan, the first person in her life who's ever really bothered to glance so much her way… After Daniel, of course. She swallows as Mr. Booth begins the lesson and takes out her phone. She slowly puts in Emma's number, her fingers shaking as she types. She holds it under her desk and types out a message.

_Hello, Emma. This is Regina. I got your number from Ruby today because we need to work on our project. I also heard you were sick. I hope you're feeling better._

Regina sends it and holds her breath, terribly nervous. But a few seconds later, she gets a reply.

_Oh, hey! Smart thinking. I keep forgetting you're like one of those quiet brainiacs. That's a compliment, btw. I'm mostly better, I just really didn't want to go school today 'cause of that assembly. Ew. But you can come over whenever if you wanna talk about the assignment._

A moment later there is another text with Emma's address. Regina can hardly believe her luck.

That is why at six that night, after pleading with her mom and promising an entire day of practice the following day, she finds herself standing outside Emma Swan's door.

She'd lied to her mom and said she was going to a different friend's house. That's one of the few lies she's ever told and she feels terribly guilty. But now, she's standing with her skinny jeans and her red apple sweater with her hair curled and with makeup and she slowly raises a trembling finger to press the doorbell.

The door opens seventeen and a half seconds later. She sees Mary Margaret Nolan there, who looks shocked but gives a genuine smile.

"Oh! Regina, is it? Come in, you must be freezing, you poor dear. Where is your coat?"

"It's not too cold, I'm accustomed to it," Regina replies shyly, smiling. Mrs. Nolan seems quite nice. She has no idea why her mother doesn't like her. She feels embarrassed about that, and quite tense from nerves, but much more relaxed.

"Oh, if you say so. Emma didn't mention she was going to have a friend over, but she's in the third room to the left, up the stairs. If there's rock music coming from it, you've probably found it. Do you girls want anything to eat as a snack? We were actually going to have dinner in a little while, but David won't be here since he's working tonight. Would you like to join us?"

"Oh, I couldn't," Regina replies quickly and quietly, her cheeks flushing. "But thank you very much for that kind offer."

"Of course. Well, I do hope you'll change your mind. Have fun!" Mrs. Nolan smiles at her warmly and Regina does want to stay for dinner, and she knows that her mother will be okay with letting her stay a while longer under the pretext of studying, but she isn't good with people. Hesitantly, she makes her way up the stairs.

The house is neat, but homey. There's a few baby toys on the ground and those probably belong to Emma's baby brother. She goes to the third door, and sure enough, there's rock music coming from it. Regina has to knock three times before Emma finally comes to open the door.

Emma's wearing plaid pajama pants and a too big sweatshirt with messy hair in a ponytail and red glasses, but she's as lovely as ever. Because she immediately acknowledges Regina and accepts her, standing over and turning down the music quickly.

"Hey! God, I didn't think you'd actually come so, uh, yeah, my room's a mess and I look like a mess, but I promise I'm not a mess inside."

There's a pause.

"Actually, I am, but everyone knows that. Come in! I'm not sick anymore so I'm like, seventy-five percent less contagious, but you should still keep your distance. Wouldn't want the ice queen to get sick."

Regina smiles widely, stepping in and looking at Emma gently. She's touched by the sweet words. Emma just grins at her and turns to fix the couch so that both of them can sit. Regina takes the chance to look around the room. The walls are light green and they're covered with posters of bands and soccer players and movies. The comforter is dark green and there are throw pillows and a bunch of stuffed animals everywhere. It's a medium sized room, but it looks smaller since there's stuff all over the floor, from fast food napkins to empty bags of chips to pieces of unfinished homework. Regina can't hold back a giggle as she sees an English assignment that had been due several weeks back. The question is asking for a paragraph on the importance of imagery and across it is written in big letters, in Emma's handwriting, _WHO THE FUCK CARES._

"You should do that more."

Regina looks up, eyes widening as she looks into Emma's relaxed face. She plots down on the couch, grabbing a bag of Cheetos and opening it. Regina carefully sits down on the couch and crosses her legs, setting her hands down on her lap, like she's always been taught.

"Pardon me?"

"Laugh," Emma says, offering Regina Cheetos. Of course, Regina declines, shaking her head. Emma just shrugs and continues eating them.

"I'll strive to do so," Regina replies shyly, looking down at her lap and fighting back a wide smile. Is this what having friends feels like? It's wonderful. She just wishes she could have known it before.

"Okay," Emma says with an easy, carefree laugh. She yawns, glancing at the time ad quickly dropping the chips.

"Oh, shit, dinner. Mom's gonna flip if she sees me eating this. Hey, you staying over for dinner?"

It's extremely tempting. Regina wants to. But she doesn't want to be in a situation where she'll be asked questions. And if the food is fattening, she'll have to eat it anyhow or else it'll be rude. She shakes her head slowly.

Emma pouts. Regina finds her heart tugging. It's quite difficult to resist those wide green eyes and the pouty pink lips.

"Aww, come on! I was sick and dying. Can't you do this for me? Please?"

It's so hard to say no. Regina swallows uncomfortably. She looks into Emma's face again and her will crumbles.

"Sure," she finally says softly. She takes out her phone and texts her mom.

_I'll be studying a few hours later. Is that okay?_

_Of course, darling. As long as you really are studying and not off with a boy._

_No, mother, I would never. I promise I'm studying._

_Good girl. Then yes._

"Okay," Emma says, stretching as she stands up. "Then we should go have dinner now. And then the project right after?"

"I suppose," Regina says slowly.

"Hella. Come on."

Regina carefully hides her hands in her jack pockets as she wonders what exactly she's gotten herself into.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's an angsty chapter. The characterization may seem unexpected, but I promise it'll be explained eventually! Thanks for all the reviews and I'm sorry about the ending of this one! xx**

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><p><em>December 19, 2014<em>

_Dear Dr. Hopper,_

_I know you've requested I address you as 'Archie' multiple times. However, I find myself unable to do so out of fear of such disrespect. You gave me this journal last Sunday and now it's Friday and it's my first entry. I still tremble as I write, and forgive me for not completely trusting a simple notebook to hold my pains and desires. I had a private journal once, which my dear mother read without my permission. It had deadly circumstances. _

_We've had two meetings, and twice, I've refused to speak so much as a greeting. It's not voluntary rudeness, I can assure you, but rather, a panicked dread that fills me upon being faced with a stranger who could very well hurt me. You see, the only reason I'm even speaking now (in a metaphorical sense, because I'm simply filling in a journal entry) is because my sister suggested I should. She was the one to convince mother that I'm slowly spiraling into darkness, which I fear is true and it frightens me._

_I don't want to write too much. It's a Friday night and I'm currently outside, sitting on the ground of the outdoors ice rink. I can feel the chill to my bone and forgive my clumsy handwriting, for my hand is trembling, though it's not just from the cold. I'm sitting out here in the dark with only the flashlight of my iPhone to guide me because earlier, I had dinner with Emma Swan and her mother. You should know that I've never had a friend and Emma is the only person I've ever considered as such. It was not a 'bad' dinner. I sat at the table, though I did not eat, and Emma and her mother tried to strike up conversation but I inevitably brought it to an end at every attempt. It became so much that I saw them looking at each other and clearly sharing secrets. I left then, claiming that my mother was waiting for me, but instead, I came here. _

_It was not 'bad', I repeat, and yet, I'm crying. I'm outraged at myself, at the world, at Emma and her mother… I don't know what to do. In my whole life I've never felt such anger. It's really coming now and I fear for myself. What will I become? What is this doing to me? This is my silent plea for help. My mother would lock me up should she know, but perhaps, that is best for everyone. There are days when I fantasize about killing people, about making them bleed and ending their life. This is not me and this isn't who I want to be. Please help me. It seems so calm in just a letter and you can't see my sobbing right now. Perhaps that's better._

_I could go to sleep here in the cold. Just like Daniel did, while waiting for me on my birthday. The cold is a killer and the cold is my friend. Will I become a killer too?_

_Regina_

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><p>Emma wakes up drenched in sweat. She groans and puts a pillow over her face, feeling the flush of shame come over her face. She's just had a highly inappropriate dream about Regina, and damn it if she has to admit it, but Regina's very beautiful and she might even be starting to like her. Which is absolutely terrible, since they don't know each other at all. Besides, dinner last night had been a disaster. Regina had left in a hurry before desert without having even touched her plate. Emma wonders now how she and Regina are going to work on the project if they've not even talked about it. Well, they'll just have to guess and hope.<p>

It's the day that Ingrid, Anna, and Elsa are coming and Emma's beyond excited. According to her mom, they'll be here at noon and then she can take Anna and Elsa to the ice rink. Emma just prays that she doesn't run into Regina there. She'll be doing her very best to avoid her, and besides, Regina's always in the indoor rink and she'll be outside with Anna and Elsa. So it should be fine.

A glance at the clock tells her it's eleven and she gapes, but then remembers that she'd stayed up till… probably two or three talking to Killian and rebloggging shit on tumblr. In a hurry, she rolls out of bed and hastily tries to make it, then dashes into the shower and emerges twenty minutes later in jeans, black boots, and a white tank top with her red leather jacket. Hey, it's not a bad outfit and it's her trademark. It's nearly twelve when she bursts into the dining room and grabs a bearclaw, collapsing into the empty chair.

_Hey, Emma, just making sure you're awake. _

Emma looks at the text from her dad and scowls. But he has a point. She'd sleep till noon every day if she could.

_It's a miracle I am. I'm going to chill with Anna and Elsa at the ice rink. See you tonight. _

She stuffs the rest of the bearclaw in her mouth and her mom walks in, takes a look at her, and starts laughing. Emma tries to frown, but it's difficult with a mouthful of bearclaw.

"Oh, honey, if I could take a picture of you. Anyway, Ingrid just texted me and they've left their stuff at their hotel room at Granny's and they're on their way right now."

"Awshum," Emma manages, giving a thumbs up to indicate that she heard. She stands up, swallows, and stretches, going to the door just as it rings. Her stomach flips in excitement and she watches her mom answer the door.

"Emma!"

She's immediately embraced by Anna, the tiny almost-fifteen year old girl hugging her with surprising strength. Emma just laughs, feeling her heart swell with warmth. Anna was always there when she was upset and would make her smile and forget her worries. When she finally pulls away, Emma can see that Anna's gotten a bit taller ever since summer, and her braids are a bit longer, but her eyes have the same playful twinkle in them.

"Anna, I missed you so much. And Elsa!"

She hugs Elsa now, who's actually a bit taller than her now. The braid is still incredibly long and she's still shy, though she looks more at ease. She and Elsa would always hang out together and go to school together and they were very close. She pulls away and smiles, glad to see that Elsa's smiling back with the same happiness.

"Anna, look at how much you've grown!" she hears Mary Margaret exclaim as the tiny girl hugs her tightly. Emma just chuckles, then turns to Ingrid. Her former foster mom, who's one of the best people in the world. Emma can hardly keep herself from running and squealing like Anna as she hugs Ingrid tightly. It had been a very difficult choice to leave Ingrid, but she knew that they'd always be close and to this day, she still called Ingrid whenever she needed help with things.

"Emma, I swear you've grown like a foot since I last saw you. How've you been, sweetie?"

"Awesome, Ingrid," Emma says with a grin. "All good. Though I do have to tell you that I still haven't got into figure skating like you, Elsa, and apparently the whole entire family."

"Oh, I've been learning, Emma!" Anna interjects excitedly, her eyes wide. "I'll show you. I can't jump, but I can do like, loopy ground spins."

"A two-foot spin, Anna," Elsa corrects, grinning. "And no worries, Emma. I can teach you."

"How about that, Emma?" Mary Margaret asks with an encouraging smile as she hugs Elsa. "You can take Anna and Elsa to the ice rink and I'll stay here and talk to Ingrid. How does that sound?"

"Yay!" Anna cheers, shouldering her backpack with an excited smile. Emma nods; she'd assumed that something like that had been the plan anyway. Elsa seems excited, because she too immediately grabs her backpack. Emma supposes she'll just rent skates over there or something, when Ingrid stops her.

"Emma, sweetie, do you want to take my skates since we're the same size? Unless your feet have gotten bigger?"

"Oh, my feet stopped growing, thankfully," Emma says quickly, but smiles. "I'd love to."

"Anna, can you get my skates out of my backpack?"

Emma stops and gratefully looks up at Ingrid. "Thank you. I'll catch up with you tonight and stuff."

"Don't stay out too late," Mary Margaret calls out. Anna puts Ingrid's skates in her backpack ad Emma grabs her car keys, waving at her mom and Ingrid as she opens the door and steps outside.

It's snowing. She smiles up at the sky, thinking of how much Ingrid loves the snow and how maybe they can go outside and build snowmen later, which is probably Anna's favorite thing to do. Emma frowns at the cold, though, and zips up her jacket. Anna's shivering too in her pink cloak, but Elsa seems totally chill in only black leggings and a blue snowflake shirt. It's long sleeve, but it's probably thinner than toilet paper. Emma doesn't quite understand. But somehow, Elsa and Ingrid seem to have inherited some superpower trait that allows them to be out in the cold without turning into an ice cube. Emma suddenly pauses briefly as she unlocks her bug, thinking of Regina out in the ice.

Is Regina cold-resistant too?

She must be. She's the ice queen, in Emma's mind. Inside her bug, she turns on the heat and shivers, but then adjusts her rearview mirror. Anna's in the back and Elsa's beside her and they have identical eager expressions.

"Let's go," Emma says, starting up her car.

It's a short drive and when they're there, Anna is telling Emma a story of a guy who she'd met names Hans. They'd dated for a day, but then it turned out Hans was a 'cheating butthole' and now, she's with a guy named Kristoff. Some people, Emma supposes, just have a ton of luck when it comes to dates. Sure, she can get a date, but she can never hold on to any of the girls she's dated. Of course, she's dated nice girls like Belle, but they just hadn't been quite right for each other. And now there's the dilemma with the fact that she's kind of liking a girl who probably has some sort of anxiety disorder and according to Ruby, nearly passed out while asking for her phone number, and she's not quite sure what to do.

"… and Kristoff and I are going to get married and have seven kids," Anna finishes, hopping off the car with a smug expression. Emma just blinks, having stopped paying attention to the end of Anna's story.

"Anna, you're fourteen. You're not getting married or having kids yet," Elsa says firmly, looking exasperated as if they've already had this conversation. Emma wisely chooses to stay out of that one and leads the way, opening the door and presenting her membership card at the front desk and getting two guest passes for the bickering sisters. Ingrid, who owns a very successful ice cream shop and inherited the fortune that belonged to her sister, Anna and Elsa's mom, is somewhat loaded with money. Emma supposes her own parents are okay economically, with her mom being the mayor and her dad being the sheriff and all, but she still doesn't feel like a rich person.

It's a relief when the bickering stops and they go into the locker room to change. Emma puts on gray leggings, but leaves her white tank top and red jacket. She manages to put on Ingrid's skates and finds that, to her relief, they're just the right size. She quickly dumps her stuff in her locker, and wobbles awkwardly with the skates. Elsa emerges from a stall in white tights and a pale blue ice skating dress that leaves Emma suddenly wishing she could look half as beautiful as Elsa in something like that. But there's a difference in their figure altogether; Elsa has thin limbs meant for that of a figure skater and Emma is just a whole bunch of muscle because she's more of a hard sport kind of person. Still, Elsa is beautiful and she's glad to see the person she practically still considers a sister coming out of her shell.

And Anna comes out too. She's in a green dress, though she's beautiful too. Anna has a sweet face and she's so petty on the inside too, that everyone can't help but be attracted to her. The girl has a ton of friends, and the last time Emma checked, about two thousand instagram followers. She personally has something close to that number, but it's still impressive to see a freshman with a number like hers.

"Right. So, uh, I missed the look-gorgeous-while-you-skate memo. Incidentally, I also missed the know-how-to-skate memo too. So you two should, like, hold my hands and make sure I don't fall on my ass."

Anna giggles playfully and they all make their way outside. The rink has an opening and it's quite large and beautiful. Her opinion changes as soon as she's on the ice, though. Even with Elsa and Anna firmly grabbing her hands, within a minute, she's on her ass.

Anna's giggling and Elsa's fighting a smile. Emma just laughs, shaking her head. Well, damn. It's harder than it looks. Elsa helps her back up and firmly grabs her hand.

"You can go skate, Anna. I'll trade you in a while and I'll help Emma."

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><p><em>December 20, 2014<em>

_Dear Dr. Hopper,_

_You won't read this until tomorrow. I don't _know_ if I'll be here tomorrow. You might not read this ever. Maybe it'll stay buried in the cold forever, taking my secrets with it._

_This will be my second entry, and already, this holds more secrets than I've ever dared reveal. And once again, I'm crying as I write this. This will hold my tears and keep them locked away._

_A little backstory before I really get into this. Two years ago, when I was fifteen, I met a stable boy. I used to ride horses with my daddy, but he died so I just stopped. But I continued talking to the stable boy. His name was Daniel and he was but a year older than me. On my seventeenth birthday, he was waiting for me at the outdoors rink at night so we could sped the evening together, just talking. My mother doesn't let me date, though, and she didn't know. Well, my mother apparently read my diary and learned of Daniel, so she kept me that night until late, yelling at me. It was hours later when I was finally able to go to the rink, which I did by simply running out of the house. When I got there, I found that Daniel had slipped, hit his head on the ice, and died._

_I'll spare my feelings. My hand is shaking again and I just really want to get to the point of my hurt today._

_All this time, I thought it my fault. But today, while my mother was pointing out my flaws, she let slip that Mary Margaret Nolan, Emma Swan's mother, had been the one to inform her that I was secretly with a boy. _

_I never knew it was that woman who told my mother. I had always assumed it was my diary. I paid the price, I suffered and I was committed to a psychiatric hospital for a week. I'm changing and I can't stop it. As my tears fall, all I can think is that I don't want to just sit here and wallow in self-pity. I want my fury to be known. I want to hurt that family like they've hurt me. Here I thought Emma Swan was my friend, when in reality, she's my cruelest enemy, as well as the rest of her family._

_If only my mother hadn't found out, I would have been able to meet Daniel at the time I said and the whole thing could have been prevented. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm furious. And I'm going to make them pay. I'll laugh when I see them as torn down as me. My mother's left me alone since she always does that when I get_ _emotional. I haven't been overly emotional lately thanks to self-training, but it's coming. I'm going to hurt them all, Dr. Hopper. And you can't stop me. No one can._

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><p>Emma grasps Elsa's hand tightly and watches Anna glide out into the ice. She lacks Elsa's grace and seemingly natural talent, but she's still a freaking Olympic medalist compared to Emma, who can't even move. Anna calls out for them and then performs and ground spinny thing, which Emma has to admit, is pretty darn graceful.<p>

Elsa has to take her to the side to hold on to the railing and make a pathetic attempt to move forward at 0.00001 miles per hour. It's so strange, because she's always had a natural talent for sports, and the first time she'd played soccer, she'd been amazing, but her talent doesn't seem to extend to the ice. She feels bad making Elsa stay by her side.

"Go on," she tells Elsa with a slight smile. "I'm fine if I hold the railing. Go kick ass with some of those cool spinny things."

"You'll be alright?" Elsa asks seriously, touching Emma's hand. Emma feels a rush of warmth; she's missed her sister. She nods and in a second, Elsa's off speeding on the ice and true to her word, she jumps in one of those jump spin things and lands on one foot. Emma suddenly has a flashback to the first time she'd ever noticed Regina, doing the very same move. She wants to go and talk to the brunette and she's struck with a sudden need to get to know her. It's puzzling, but Emma feels it inside. She wants to get to know Regina, or, more importantly, the person inside, the _ice queen_.

Checking the time, Emma decides that damn it, she wants to go say hi to Regina. She awkwardly manages to get back and out of the rink and calls to Anna and Elsa that she'll be back in a little bit. Shoving her hands in her pockets, she goes back inside and turns in the direction of the indoor rink.

The hall is deserted. A peek inside tells Emma that Cora is nowhere in sight, which is good, since the lady gives Emma the creeps. She slowly lets herself in, looking around and swallowing unevenly. It seems deserted, but over the years, Emma's built up an instinct that lets her know when something's not as it seems. There's a presence somewhere, hiding, waiting. Emma walks closer to the rink and looks at the smooth ice. Well, mostly smooth. But there are lines on it, signaling that someone was clearly skating on it. Recently.

Emma slowly walks around the rink area, walking through the stands and the seats. She's nearly at the other side when she suddenly discovers the presence which had alerted her. Her eyes widen in shock.

It's Regina, standing in front of a full-length mirror that's probably meant for performers to look at themselves right before a show. Regina's in her white skates, but with skin colored tights, black leather gloves, and a black and blood red ice skating dress which doesn't help Emma's fantasies of Regina. She's got a stunning, strikingly thin figure, but what's concerning to Emma is Regina's face. She's extremely pale, save for her bloodshot eyes and there's eyeliner tears running down her cheeks. Her usually neatly braided is a wavy mess, and her fists are balled in a concerning way. The normally kind brown eyes are hard and angry. And when they lock with Emma through the mirror, Emma actually feels a trill of fear and steps back. Regina whirls around, eyes flashing.

"Not invisible now, am I?" she whispers, but her voice holds none of its usual gentleness and is now filled with a bitter tone. Emma stares, utterly bewildered.

"Regina- what's wrong? You were never invisible-"

"_Don't_ underestimate me, Emma. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

It sounds like a warning. Emma just stares, at a loss for words, as Regina expertly enters the ice rink and dashes off across the ice, moving at a frighteningly fast speed. Just as she's about to collide with the walls, she turns, kicks the blade of her skate into the ground, and sends up a flurry of ice. Emma barely keeps up, because in a split second, Regina's already zipping across the rink.

In a panic, Emma blindly makes her way towards the ice. Regina's not okay. She's going to hurt herself if she keeps on going at this speed. Maybe she'll fall or crash into a wall or something worse, but she has to stop her. And apologize for whatever it is she's done.

She doesn't get the chance, though. Because as Emma flails her arms, having forgotten that she has no idea how to skate, she sees Regina zip and in a moment, she slams against Emma. Emma can't even gasp as she feels herself thrown backwards against a wall. Her body slams against it and she feels a giant thud against her head, then crumples to the ground.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the wait and sorry for the length! I'll try to make the next one longer please read and review! xx**

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><p>It's nearing midnight when Emma finally <em>officially<em> wakes up.

Yes, she's pretty sure she was briefly conscious several times earlier throughout the day. She recalls laying on the ice with her head sending forth bursts of unbearable pain for a few moments before the darkness again. She recalls laying on a gurney and being wheeled into an emergency room. She recalls someone- her mom, she's pretty sure- crying and asking the doctors if she'd be fine.

But all those instances had been flashes. Now, the room is dark though there's light from the hall seeping in, and Emma finally opens her eyes, groaning very softly as everything slides in and out of focus. Had she not been lying down, she's certain she would have fallen over because the ceiling spins above her. She blinks to try to clear her thoughts and her eyesight, but when she opens her eyes, the unpleasant sensation of lost direction is still there. Plus, she's also now aware that her head is pulsing with a ringing pain and she just lets out a tiny sigh.

As an athlete, she's been knocked in the head plenty of times, but she's certain it's never been this serious and it's never hurt this much. Still, the rational part of her argues, she can't be _that_ injured now, or she wouldn't have woken up in those brief pockets of consciousness she has memory of.

Speaking of memory. She blinks again and quickly learns that moving her head isn't much of an option and moving her eyes is a huge pain, but her curiosity wins over and she takes a look. It's a hospital room. The clock reads 11:56. She only assumes it's night because even with a knocked head, she's not _completely_ stupid. With that thought, she smirks mirthlessly at herself and thinks of how many would disagree with that, given circumstances.

She spots her dad sitting on a very uncomfortable-looking chair, his head resting against the wall. He's asleep and it must be his night off-duty. Emma blinks again, deciding to keep her eyes closed for now because even though she's tired of sleeping, keeping her eyes open hurts too much and she's not one for masochism. In a rush of a sudden urgency, however, she finds herself desperately searching for her last memory before darkness.

It's odd, but something struck her as she's thought of her aversion to causing herself unnecessary pain. And it's unnerving too, because with years of living in the system, she's grown to be alert from the moment she awakens. Comforting security is not a thing she's been able to have, even after Ingrid fostered her and her parents found her, so she wonders why now, of all the times, she'd woken without immediate panic.

With the searching bringing up results, Emma puts that to rest as she suddenly realizes that waking up without immediate thought had been a sore mistake, because there is _never_ security. And she remembers, clearly as though she was living it now, Regina's startling rage from earlier.

Emma remembers, in horror, watching Regina zip across the rink at frightening, yet entrancing speeds. She remembers feeling a pit of longing desire in her stomach at the darkness in Regina revealing itself and coming to the surface, making itself visible to Emma. And she remembers that tiny dress, those lithe legs covered only in black tights which Emma could have ripped off with ease had she attempted to.

But beyond the physical captivation, Emma remembers something truly sinister. Regina's looks had not been all. What was truly enticing and troubling was the emotion clearly evident. Emma's eyes squeeze shut tightly as she remembers the flashing, heated eyes which were so uncharacteristic, given that they were of a usual kind, closed off nature. And she recalls that being the turning point, the point at which she'd realized that Regina was not herself, not her usual kind, soft-spoken self, and that at the speed with which she was skating, she'd get hurt. Emma recalls her own compassionate nature and- she has to admit it, her curiosity and her captivation by the stunning brunette- which lead her to make a flash decision of going into the rink- knowing full well that she can't skate to save her life- in a futile attempt to reach Regina and stop her.

She remembers vividly as she waved her arms around because she had no balance and nearly falling. She remembers (thankfully, she has a crystal-clear grasp on the memories she cares about) her own feeling of dread.

It's as if she's back in the moment. Emma surrounds herself with the memory and she can feel her emotions again. She's on the ice and she makes the mistake of looking up from her own wildly skidding feet as she hears the crisp sound of a sharpened blade cutting across the frozen ground. Emma sees as Regina slides into view in front of her, and she captures the shock slowly becoming evident on Regina's face. Emma feels her own stunned self tensing for impact, but it's not enough, because Regina's unable to stop herself at the speed with which she's moving at and in a moment, Emma feels the impact and she's thrown back against the wall of the rink, where everything bursts in colors in front of her eyes and then her memory stops abruptly.

Emma immediately is hit with the force of present day and though she feels like shit, her eyes snap open and she's struggling to sit up, causing her head to feel like it's going to explode with pain. But she needs to find out what happened to Regina and laying in bed isn't going to help her. Her struggling causes her to squeak from pain in an unEmma-like manner, enough to alert her dad, who jolts and is at her side in a moment.

"Emma? Oh, Emma, thank goodness you're awake. The doctors _said_ you'd be fine, but I never trust them."

Emma grimaces as she eases back down, remembering. Her dad had apparently been in a coma years ago, before her parents found her again. So she understands why he'd be tense about it.

"I'm fine, dad. I really am. Do you know- do you know where Regina is?"

There's a pause in which it's obvious that her dad's trying to follow and get on her page. When he finally speaks, he sounds confused.

"Regina?"

"Yeah, she was the one who- you know what? Never mind. Where's my phone?"

Her dad is clearly lost, but he reaches over to her nightstand and slowly hands her cell over. Emma takes it, turns it on and swears under her breath from the intensity of the screen, immediately turns it all the way down, and looks at her notifications. There are texts from Elsa, Anna, and all her friends all asking if she's okay, but there's nothing from Regina. And that's both offensive and concerning to Emma, who wants to go and find her, despite the fact that it's midnight.

"Emma, what's going on? Do you want me to get the docto-?"

"No," Emma interrupts forcefully, wishing she could shake her head. "I just need to find out what happened to Regina."

"Why?" her dad presses, and there's a hint of suspicion and unease in his tone now. Emma wishes she could just relax, but she can't, not knowing if Regina is doing something stupid because of her. She remembers her words from earlier and her threat.

"Because she... geez, I don't know! She's just upset, I think. She's the one who..."

"I'm well aware of who Regina Mills is, Emma," dad says in the same, uneasy tone.

"Oh. Then what were you asking me?" Emma asks, now confused and tired. The conversation is getting nowhere when she should be off trying to get her questions answered, instead of just getting more and more questions.

"I was asking why you were so fixated on her. She called the hospital, said you two accidentally crashed while ice skating. She's in the waiting room right now, actually."

"What?" Emma stammers, alarmed, her heart now hammering in her chest as she feels her palms tickle with the hunt of cold sweat and her head is a fucking pain dump. "Dad, please, I need to talk to her. Alone. I promise I'm fine. I just really need to talk to her."

"Emma, it's midnight and you just woke up from a head injury," dad snaps quietly, meaning business. His eyes are narrowed and he's usually so agreeable, but it's his dad instinct kicking in and Emma totally gets it, but it's an emergency and she has no idea how to explain it, because her dad won't understand.

"Dad, I know it's weird," she whispers desperately, moving her hand to squeeze his. "I know that. But this is an emergency. I need to talk to Regina. It'll be quick and then I'll rest and see the doctor and do whatever you want me to. But please, just let me talk to her for a bit."

She knows that David never _can_ resist anything from his little princess, and although she doesn't like using that power and being all sparkly tiara stickers, she uses it now. It's no surprise to her when he finally agrees.

"Alright, Emma. But only for a moment."

Emma releases the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and she waits calmly, though inside she's anything but. Her dad walks out the door and it's about a minute before the door opens once more and in walks Regina, looking as lovely as ever and as calm as usual. Of course, Emma has to remind herself that the outburst had been nearly twelve hours ago and she's been unconscious for most of it, which is why it seems as if it's just happened, but even twelve hours seems to small of a time interval for someone so emotionally shaken to recover to perfect serenity. But even through the external composure, there's something lurking underneath. And maybe it's creeping to the surface, though it's difficult to place.

Regina's in skinny jeans, but Emma's concerned by how even what's clearly a size zero is still baggy on those long legs. There's a pale blue sweater that's also baggy, and simple black combat boots. The hair is pulled back into a french braid and her gorgeous face is untouched by makeup now. Or that's what Emma thinks. She can't know for sure.

Her eyes are forced to linger on Regina's jeans and take even more of a half-assed assessment on Regina's appearance since the dark brown eyes are carefully guarded and completely concealed. It's silent for several moments until Regina finally speaks, and Emma finally is able to look up and look into those captivating eyes.

"You're awake," Regina says in a calm voice, though there's no hint of relief anywhere. That's what frightens Emma. But there's no malice in the words either, which isn't exactly reassuring, but it's better than nothing at all.

"Yeah. Hook always did say I have a thick skull," Emma says softly, unsure if she should try to lighten the mood. It doesn't seem to work, and neither does the tentative smile she'd just given to Regina.

"I'm glad you do. I was afraid you'd not wake," Regina responds, slowly and deliberately. The problem is, Emma's simply unable to read between lines of any given conversation, and Regina's not giving her much to work with anyway, leaving Emma as lost as ever. She tries to hold back the resentfulness, but is unable to. Years of confusion in life, of never knowing whether or not someone was serious and what the true intentions were, left her somewhat cynical and alone in her own island of solidarity.

"Yeah, I can tell," she says with a hint of bitterness. Emma doesn't mean to turn to resent, but she'd expected a little more from the person who'd hurt her in the first place and who she'd tried reaching and couldn't find. Her comment, though, appears to fall on deaf ears because Regina continues to gaze calmly into Emma's face. Emma's face is on the verge of crumpling and she feels her chin trembling, and it's so embarrassing because she hates to show emotion, but it's coming through, and all Regina does is continue to look blankly.

"Emma, I _am_ glad you're awake. Though it doesn't seem like it, I did hope you'd be fine."

Emma's hurt and anger is still there, but that's getting nothing done. She knows she should change tactics, try to accomplish something, but she can't. She's stubborn as hell, and it's a flaw she recognizes, but she's not going to do anything about it.

"Yes, I'm sure you did. After all, you did threaten me and I still don't know why and then you did succeed in hurting me. Listen, I get that it was an accident, but- Christ, couldn't you at least acknowledge it? I'm not even asking for a fucking apology, I'm just asking for you to say something about it."

"The issue underlying that," Regina replies, without missing a beat, "is that it assumes that I fully comprehend today's events. I don't, and therefore, I can't form a presentable conclusion."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Emma demands, a tear now falling down her cheek. She refuses to let any more fall. "You sound like you're reading out of a fucking textbook. We're not in class. We're not in AP Lit or AP Fucking Linguistics or whatever the hell it is you're taking. We're in real life, and I'm not asking for a lab report quality conclusion, all I'm asking is for anything, goddamn it. You're so closed off."

"But you wouldn't like me if I were open either," Regina whispers. She frantically grabs Emma's hand and Emma flinches at the icy grip, but it's the first sign of any human emotion Regina has shown, and Emma will take whatever she gets. "I'm trying to tell you that I _can't_ open up. Not now. Every time I do, I feel like I'm losing my mind and I fear that I already have. It's terrifying, and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry about what happened, but I'm so mad- so, _so_ mad- and I've only but an inkling of what I'll do should I release it. I did earlier today, and it hurt you. I can't do that again."

"But you were _alive_, Regina," Emma whispers desperately, pleadingly. She finds herself trying to warm up Regina's icy hand, though maybe it's just Regina's heart that makes her unable to warm up. "And I've gone years without living and without loving. I've got my parents, I've got my friends, and I have love, but it's never complete. Why do you think I'm in so many clubs and sports at school? I need something to take up my time. I need to be occupied or I'll be left alone; a slave to my own mind. That's terrifying. And- fuck it, I'll admit it- I never even noticed you at school. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I never knew you existed. Because at school, the light I know you have is extinguished, but that night that I saw you at the rink, I was entranced in a split second. Because on the ice, you come alive, and it's beautiful to watch. _You're_ beautiful to watch. So Regina, help me, but I need _some_ kind of indication that you're still here with me, because all I'm seeing is an empty shell and I can't stand it."

Her outburst has her exhausted, but she feels a weight taken off her shoulders. Her head's throbbing, and yet, she feels so much better, sinking down on her pillow. It takes her an entire minute to get her breath back and she looks up as patiently and calmly as possible. Regina looks like she's about to crack. It breaks Emma's heart, but she wants Regina to just shatter and let it all out, whatever it is, because clearly Regina is incapable of handling emotional conflicts in a mature way, and Emma feels as if she has to be there to make sure that, like a little kid, Regina doesn't hurt herself or anyone else in the process.

Emma's hope fall apart in a moment though. Because Regina's face shifts back into one of utter and frightening calm and she slowly shakes her head.

"No. I'm sorry, but I can't do that, Emma. You've been so kind to me, but I can't be around you. One day, I'll just snap and who knows just what else might snap...?

"I'll have to go home now. My mother will be expecting me. I have things to do. I want to lay under my apple tree and think. And sleep."

There's a pause. It's brimming with unspoken emotions and they're almost addressed, but then, they're not. Regina straightens up, calmly. There's tears in her eyes too and now they're freely falling, but Regina's completely ignoring them. Emma refuses to let her own tears fall as she accepts the fact that Regina's not going to talk.

"Good night, Regina. I'll see you around, I hope."

"Good night and sweet dreams, Emma."


End file.
